Hello Still Mothers,
I’m sure we don’t need to tell you it was Father’s Day this past weekend*. It was a tough weekend for us as Still Parents…another day that’s not at all how it should be.
We hope it was a gentle as possible for you.
We had lots to share on Sunday for the special daddies in our lives. Did you get a chance to read them? You can find them all on our blog: For the Dads.
Today is Tuesday, so we want to hear from you.
How was your Father’s Day, really? The good, the bad, and the ugly. For many of us, even the days leading up and the days after are hard. (Monday grief hangover?)
We want to know about your experience.
*If you’re in the part of the world that didn’t celebrate Father’s Day this weekend, how was your weekend in general?
RaeAnne Fredrickson is mama to Samuel Evan, who was carried to birth with all her love, after receiving a fatal diagnosis early in pregnancy.
She is the creator, co-founder, and Editor of Still Mothers.She is the founding owner of All That Love Can Do, a resource for families who continue pregnancy after a fatal diagnosis. She is a contributing author of Still Standing Magazine, and All That Love Can Do, and her own blog, The Love We Carry.Her story is featured in Still Standing: Because They Lived and "Invisible Mothers".
She is married to her faithful husband, Bryan.
She speaks openly about life and loss, the joy of carrying her son, and the heartache of living without him. She believes no one should have to face a life of loss alone.
She is the creator, co-founder, and Editor of Still Mothers.She is the founding owner of All That Love Can Do, a resource for families who continue pregnancy after a fatal diagnosis. She is a contributing author of Still Standing Magazine, and All That Love Can Do, and her own blog, The Love We Carry.Her story is featured in Still Standing: Because They Lived and "Invisible Mothers".
She is married to her faithful husband, Bryan.
She speaks openly about life and loss, the joy of carrying her son, and the heartache of living without him. She believes no one should have to face a life of loss alone.
Latest posts by RaeAnne Fredrickson (see all)
- Still Mothering - May 5, 2017
- The Mothering Project - April 9, 2017
- At Least - November 28, 2016
Father’s Day was, if anything, far harder than Mother’s Day had been. That wasn’t something I was expecting or prepared for. It was also the second ‘birthday’ of my husband and I’s first miscarriage together. I tried to do everything I could to help him relax and feel happy. His father even put together a camping trip for the Friday and Saturday just the two of them, to be able to talk and connect. But when my husband came home he would hardly speak to me, and hasn’t gotten any better since then. I spoke with my father in law and he said nothing strange happened on the trip, he has no idea why there is a sudden and dramatic change in my husband’s attitude, and of course my husband won’t open up to me about what’s going on. I feel that I did a terrible job being there for him because I did a lot of crying of my own, unwillingly reliving the loss we suffered 2 years before. I expressed to him that I want to talk to a new doctor, to see if we should move forward with other treatments like IVF, and he said he wasn’t ready. I’m very worried and frightened by this sudden change in him, and hoping that these cracks in our marriage from infertility won’t cause it to shatter. I could see the pain in his eyes as we sat around the dinner table with his family celebrating his father and everyone wishing him a happy Father’s Day, but not a word said for him. I feel awful for posting my worries on a public forum where anyone can read them and he might see them. I pray to God that a miracle will happen before next Father’s Day, because I don’t think we could survive another one like that.
It sounds like it was a very hard weekend. You never know how experiences will affect you after loss. It sounds like the trip was tough for your husband. I hope you can both find some peace together. Thank you for sharing <3
We’ve made it through the 1st Mothers and Fathers Days. And her birthday is next week. We definetly have learned the grief hangover is real. All the anticipation of the day, then getting through it is exhausting. I let my husband lead where the day took us. He and our daughter had such a bond in her 3 short months and I’m sad it was taken away from them. Watching him be a father made me fall even more in love with him.
“I never knew how much I loved your daddy until I saw how much he loved you”. That’s a favorite quote of mine. You’ve been surviving some really horrible days. Be extra gentle with yourselves <3.
Happy early birthday, sweet princess!
Fathers and Mothers days are always a challange when your a still parent ….this year for us was harder somehow it will be our 9th year without our little man and missing out on sharing our love we have as parents is hard.. we spent this weekend celebrating our nephews 18th birthday and although this is a joyous occasion it bring to the fore feelings of how we will miss out on these proud parent moments and milestones that we celebrate with others but will not have the chance to celebrate with our own son ….life can be very cruel and feelings a4e always hidden so as not to upset others in the family although we obviously wish our nephew well and are so proud of the man he has become we are saddened by the cruel fact we have been denyed our own sons moments of celebration. Thankyou for setting up this site it helps to know others in same situation love to you all xxxx
Oh, mama, those celebrations we miss hurt so much. It’s not fair at all. And it’s such a heavy load to carry without the support of family and friends. I’m very sorry you feel the pressure to keep your emotions hidden. You’re always welcome to share here. We understand <3.