Dear Doctors, Nurses, and Health Professionals,
First of all thank you for all that you do. The love and care that you so tirelessly put into taking care of our babies and trying to save them does not go unnoticed.
You are incredible human beings who sacrifice your own families, sleep, and time to try your very best to save our children.
Sometimes however, that is just not possible and our children won’t make it. We know this.
We may not always treat you with the utmost respect because we are scared and completely out of our minds with grief and worry. For that I am sorry. But do know, that you are our lifeline in moments like this and right now your job is more important than ever.
The reason is because you are who we will remember when we look back on this day. What you said, what you didn’t say, and the grace and dignity you treated our children with will always, always be etched in our hearts.
So with that said, please be mindful as difficult as this may be. Please allow us the time to spend with our babies. These are our very last moments. If you rush us, we won’t ever get this time back. Please let us know it is ok to take as much time as possible. Please encourage us to take pictures, because although we may not realize it right now and may be outraged at the idea – we will cherish these and thank you for them later. Please help us to bath our child and to have skin to skin contact. Those are the moments that we will be filled with grief and tears, but will need so much to have had when we look back on this day.
And please, please make sure that everyone on our floor or who may even be remotely in contact with us knows what happened. Having someone come into your room and congratulate you after you have lost a baby is just adding to our already crushing grief.
Thank you again for all that you do, and although I may not say it today I will always remember you and be grateful for the time and the precious moments you helped my family and I to make possible.
Sincerely,
Emma’s Mother
*Editor’s Note: This post was written by a mother from the Grieving Your Youngest group. This is a Still Mothers group for families who have living children, but no baby born after loss. Please be advised: the following bio mentions a living child.
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Amelia Kowalisyn the mother to twins, Alex who is a year old and Emma Rose who is loving her family from up in heaven. She and her family live in Valparaiso, Indiana where she spends her time raising her beautiful baby boy and running Emma’s Footprints. Emma’s Footprints, established by Amelia and her husband Joe, brings awareness to both premature birth and infant loss.
Amelia wrote this letter as part of an outreach project from her charity Emma’s Footprints to help medical staff become more mindful of families when they lose an infant. For more information on this projected and resources for your doctor’s office or hospital please contact Amelia directly.
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