The number 10 has a special meaning for me and my husband.
We had been married for 10 years when we finally got pregnant after numerous failed fertility treatments.
Our daughter Pearl was born still at 29 weeks on April 10, 2006, and it’s now 10 years since she has left us.
We have shed more than 10 thousand tears.
How do we feel about all this?
Well, we have been through things we never expected and there is only so much heartache we can take! We have been able to turn our experiences into a positive by giving back to the people that held our hands on this crappy journey. We started volunteering at the hospital where our son was born and I became a facilitator for the bereavement support group that was there for us when we needed it most.
When I think back about where we were 10 years ago I see that we have both changed a lot, in good ways and bad.
We are stronger people not bothered so much by the small stuff anymore as we realize what is important in our lives.
I wonder what Pearl would be doing at 10 years of age…would she be into horses like I was or would she be Daddy’s girl going to the motorsport races on weekends?
What hurts the most is after being on this Journey for 10 years and trying so hard to make something work for us we realize that we sometimes (like now) have to step back and see what happens. With no other living children (other than our two cats) we have to face a life of growing our marriage and our lives together being just the two of us beautiful humans.
We will never forget our precious children (Pearl, Ryan and Angel) and we have pictures, video and memories that will last us a lifetime.
We honor them every year around their birthdays/holidays and think of them always.
We are often asked by the newly bereaved parent how we got through it. My answer is always the same…minute by minute / hour by hour / day by day. Happy Birthday my sweet girl ….until we meet again.
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Monica Wheatley has been married to her husband Nigel for 20 years. They have two cats…Daisy and Spooky, and live in Mississauga, Ontario (Canada).
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