As Still Mothers, we never know when grief will come knocking and demand our attention.
It’s usually not expected
Usually not invited
Usually not a good time.
Yet, when grief shows up, acknowledging it is a way of honoring our children.
So, we give it a moment.
To resonate in our hearts.
Or, when we can’t, we put it on hold until we can address the memory, unhindered.
We remember the beauty of our child’s life, and we embrace the sad parts, too, because there is beauty even in the ashes. After all, the ashes are my daughter’s physical self.
Ashes to ashes.
I’ll never give up an opportunity to roll up my sleeves, get dirty, and remember my Joislen.
She’s wrapped up in this sea of devastating emotions.
I clean the gunk and agony off her memory with my tears until I can clearly see how lovely she is; a girl so pretty, a purpose so huge, yet a life so short.
It wrenches my heart.
Yet, in these very memories, I am so close to her.
Sure it hurts. But I won’t ever forfeit experiencing her nearness for normalcy.
That goes out the window when you bury your newborn. That’s the life of a Still Mother.
And she is worth it all.
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Trish-Ann is a mother to her purpose baby, Joislen Taylor, whose memory she plans to keep alive for the rest of her life. She is a major advocate for patients; pursuing her career as a Labor and Delivery nurse. She works alongside local hospitals in San Diego to bring about necessary change to better accommodate grieving families. She truly embodies the heart of a philanthropist, and has an enjoyment in creative expression.
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