When you have a baby that doesn’t come home from the hospital you end up with a lot of unneeded stuff. Depending on the scenario, you may have had a nursery all prepped and ready. You likely stocked up on the necessities and received generous gifts from your family and friends. You planned to bring home a wriggling, screaming baby that would need and use all the things you had prepared. He would sleep in the bassinet, and then the crib. He would go through hundreds and then thousands of diapers. He would make messes on all those cute little bibs and slobber on each and every toy. He would wear all the cute outfits and tiny shoes, while almost immediately growing out of them. He would ride in style in that fancy new stroller. Getting ready for a baby is an expensive and time consuming task – but you knew it would all be worth it in the end.

But what happens when that baby never comes home? When you, instead, come home with empty arms and a shattered heart.  Well, the nursery becomes “that room”, and you will then have to determine what is to be done with it and all this unneeded stuff.  You may ask family to pack it all away before you even return home, or you may simply close the door and pretend that there is nothing there.  Your mind may try to block out the room’s existence or you may feel compelled to go inside and check on your baby. The light that peers around the edges of the dark silhouetted door may haunt you.

For some, there may be a new baby within a matter of months that will need that room along with all of its contents. But for the rest of us, the nursery may remain unneeded for years on end until seemingly a lifetime has passed. With the exception of a box or 2 (that become our most prized earthly possessions) we may pack the items away – saving them for a yet to be imagined child that may or may not ever come.  We may receive comfort by donating some of the items to a friend or family in need.

But whether we choose to store or sell, donate or destroy – we will be forced to let go. It may be days or decades later, but at some point we will let go. With clenched fists and battered hearts we will let go of the items (or at least the dream of their use). But no matter when or how we release these physical remnants we will never let go of who they were intended for – the sweet tiny baby that never got to use them.

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